The Grieving Process

Coping With Loss - The Seven Phases of Grief

Understanding common phases of the grieving process can make it easier to cope or to help someone you care about. The grieving process differs based on who we are, whom we have lost, and how much our ddaily life is changed by the loss. Although everyone experiences the grieving process differently, the grieving process tends to have seven distinct phases.

Phase One
The grieving process usually begins once the person is informed of the death. It is common to experience an array of emotions - anger, sadness, shock, disbelief, etc. The first phase of the grieving process can last several weeks.

Phase Two
After the initial shock of the news, the numbness begins to wear off and the pain of the loss can become nearly unbearable.

Instead of keeping emotions bottled up, it is best to express the pain. Hiding it and trying to "be strong" for others is not healthy. Find someone to talk to or reach out thorugh online support groups like the one here at BREATHE LA. Seeking help from community resources for support is recommended.

Phase Three
Once the unbearable pain of the loss has subsided, you may begin to reminisce and try to re-experience past events. Looking through photo albums, re-visiting places, and wearing jewelry or clothing of your loved one are some examples of how you may choose to remember past times.

Phase Four
The fourth phase of the grieving process involves a "reinvesting" of ones life with signs of adjustment to life after the loss. Discussions of "starting over" as well as making changes to the home environment are common. This phase of grieving is where it becomes evident that you are beginning to cope with the loss.

Phase Five and Six
During these phases, giving up attachments to the past begins. The past relationship is replaced with a new "memory" relationship and you are able at last to reinvest in the "new" world - a world without your loved one.

Phase Seven
This final phase allows you to think and speak of your lost loved one without pain. Although you may still feel sadness, the pain has finally subsided.

Source: AARP - Elizabeth Harper Neeld, Ph.D.